At last! We begin our next edition of Insomniac Theater. As previously requested by one of our classmates, this morning we shall discuss respect. While respect can take on several definitions, it is important that we first try to understand its origins. Imagine, if you will, a group of 'cavepeople' wandering the primordial earth, searching for food and shelter. A member that fell behind most certainly would die. Such a person, having no worth or value to the group, would not be respected and thus, we see that respect is a very primal, psychological need. It almost has an instinctual value about it. Of course, we live in an age where a person might certainly survive without due respect. A person that can play professional sports, for example, or has a lot of money through family may survive and yet not get the respect another may receive.
Although life itself may not depend on respect , there is still value in earning it. Sometimes, very important decisions are made on the basis of respect for another. Sincere respect , then, takes on a completely different value. Conversely, a false-respect can affect a decision towards another and show that lack in other ways.
We all want to be respected. We can sense when we are or are not respected. A person of great wealth usually expects a certain amount of respect, as does one of great power. Perhaps this is why they seek the wealth and power in the first place? For you see, with respect comes a sense of power. There is cooperation from others and , therefore, less of our own resources are expended. There are fewer conflicts. And , of course, we feel better about ourselves when we are shown respect. Evolution and practicality then are clearly reasons respect has importance to us.
As mentioned previously, respect is earned. At least most of the time. By taking into account the needs and feelings of others (respecting), and volunteering to be helpful, one earns their respect. Some people make the mistake that repsect can be demanded or forced but this tends to lead to a "false" respect as it is not sincere. This then begs the question, "how does one learn to respect others"?
I believe respect is a value that is taught from a young age. A baby has no concept of respect. They first learn dependancy. There is a need to teach respect to children so that it is a value with which they live, just as we teach them not to steal, use violence or lie. This teaching is accomplished by showing a child respect. By imparting upon the child the value of respect and the sense of what it means to him. A person with no respect for themself is simply unable to respect another.
We show respect by validating others. By understanding their feelings and being considerate. When we listen unconditionally and do not judge, we validate the speaker and , thereby, gain their respect. It is important that the person know we sincerely care about their feelings. Accomodating another for the sake of their feelings, we begin to earn their respect. In short, by showing respect we earn it in return. Remember, when a person feels repected, they most often tend to reciprocate that respect.
It is also important that we do not confuse respect with fear. A gang member carrying a gun will often complain that he was "disrespected". Since they have no respect for others, they cannot earn respect. Instead, they gain fear. They are feared for what they might do and confuse this with respect. Respect is voluntary, not coerced. Fear is poisonous while respect is nurturing. Fear is forced while respect is earned. Certainly there is an inverse relationship between fear and respect but it is generally understood that we learn to fear. Again, repsect is earned.It is incumbent upon parents to teach the consequences of lacking respect. Likewise, parents must respect their children in order to give that sense of being respected. People that do not feel respected while young tend to take things more personally as adults. They may make a big scene or act out in an overly emotional manner because they have repressed feelings of pain due to lack of respect. There is also a sense of very low self-esteem which causes people to act in an irrational, rude or violent manner as they have not learned to respect others. Additionally, a child that is given everything he wants, or has not been taught to earn things tends to have no respect for the value of work. There is a lack of realization when understanding consequence for action.
It is clearly important that we understand the value of true respect. By demonstrating this value when dealing with others, we will receive it in return. Respect, by and large, is valued above all other things and is sought out by most everyone. It gives us a sense of worth. A sense of ease and certainly one of power.
Edited at: Thursday, December 04, 2008 7:08:59 AM Edited at: Thursday, December 04, 2008 7:09:45 AM
Edited at: Thursday, December 04, 2008 7:17:09 AM |
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