A guy goes into a confessional and says "forgive me father for i have sinned" "confess your sins and all will be forgiven my son" the priest replies. "well father " says the guy  "yesterday my wife was bending over to get something out of the freezer, she was wearing a short skirt and it rode up exposing her panties to me, i was overcome with lust, i couldn't help myself, i went over, pulled down her panties and shafted her hard, right there and then" "thats it?" the priest asks, "yes father thats what happend, am i going to hell?" says the guy, "my son, this was your wife you say?" "yes father" "my son it is perfectly natural for a man to express his love for his wife in a physical way in the eyes of the church, you're not going to go to hell, if it makes you feel any better go home and say 10 hail marys" "really father, thats fantastic news, i was so worried, i thought i was going to be banned from the church"  "not at all my son" says the priest " the church would never ban a man for making love to his wife" "well could you have word to the people at the supermarket for me then father"