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come on somebody make me laugh!!!

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[SkyRideR] Thursday, December 18, 2008 3:42:41 PM 

try your hand at this: 

[kiamat] Thursday, December 18, 2008 6:12:00 AM 
How Santa gets around the world in one night

He has to deliver almost 2,000 million kilos of toys to approximately 842 million houses, using 214,200 reindeer for the weight.
To get to every house he has to travel 220 million miles, requiring a top speed of 9,166,666.7 miles per hour.
To achieve the least friction he would have to travel in the outer reaches of the Earth's atmosphere, coming down for present drop-offs.

Considering that an object such as a meteor falls through the Earth's atmosphere at speeds between 64,800 and 158,400 miles per hour (depending on its position relative to Earths orbit) and that at these speeds they burn up almost instantaneously-

Scientists estimate a survival time of about 1/250th of a second...

Edited at: Thursday, December 18, 2008 6:12:47 AM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Sunday, December 14, 2008 3:50:22 PM 
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Sunday, December 14, 2008 3:48:57 PM 
[_strat_] Monday, December 08, 2008 7:19:18 AM 
Not if the wealthy one is really wealthy.
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by Head banger from Monday, December 08, 2008 7:14:21 AM)
[Head banger] Monday, December 08, 2008 7:14:21 AM 
4.  christ thats a lot of work!!!
  [Show/Hide Quoted Message] (Quoting Message by _strat_ from Monday, December 08, 2008 5:16:52 AM)
[_strat_] Monday, December 08, 2008 5:16:52 AM 
What every man needs in life is a woman that is smart. A woman that is beautifull. A woman that cooks well. A woman that is wealthy. 

But most importantly, those four women must not know about one another.
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 06, 2008 8:29:07 PM 
I can see this would be my

[Metallark] Saturday, December 06, 2008 8:08:48 PM 
OOOOOOUCH! Great one MG.
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 06, 2008 10:56:19 AM 
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 06, 2008 10:54:43 AM 
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Saturday, December 06, 2008 10:52:04 AM 
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, December 05, 2008 8:18:30 PM 

Well this one about sums it up for me..... LOL

[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, December 05, 2008 4:02:13 PM 
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Friday, December 05, 2008 3:17:51 PM 
[Metallark] Friday, November 28, 2008 6:26:11 AM 

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.


She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.


One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.


She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.


As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled

with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!


When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.


The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.


'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'

 Pointing to the bowl.


'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package n the ground.


The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.


Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'


Edited at: Friday, November 28, 2008 6:36:43 AM
[Metallark] Friday, November 28, 2008 6:20:15 AM 

New "Spread the Wealth" pencil sharpener.  Every US taxpayer will be mailed one of these with the new 2008 IRS tax forms.

Be a-watching' in your mail box!


Edited at: Friday, November 28, 2008 6:21:01 AM
Edited at: Friday, November 28, 2008 6:21:48 AM
[Metallark] Friday, November 28, 2008 6:14:47 AM 
 TURKEY RECIPE~Better Late, Than Never 
I thought this sounded good!
Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a
stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was
perfect for those who just are not sure how to tell when
poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.
Give this a try. 

8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT) Salt/pepper to

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter
salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in
baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. 

Listen for the popping sounds.
When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies
across the room, it's done. 

And, you thought I didn't cook...

Edited at: Friday, November 28, 2008 6:15:44 AM
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Tuesday, November 25, 2008 3:08:42 PM 
[~ MG_Metalgoddess~] Tuesday, November 25, 2008 3:07:43 PM 
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